When I filled out my application for this program, one of the questions was, why do you want to be a part of Get it Back - Give it Back. Part of my answer included being able to give it back. I wrote that if through this journey someone, somewhere hears something I say or reads something I write, and it changes how they are living.........well I couldn't imagine anything better. So with that in mind, I promised myself that this blog would be an honest representation of how I am doing and feeling throughout this journey.
Anyone who watches Biggest Loser knows that week two is hard. I'm going to tell you that week two on Get it Back - Give it Back was hard too. It wasn't just hard physically, but emotionally it was a roller coaster. I did, however, learn some things.
Monday night Team Castanet met with Stephanie. She had set up a circuit for us upstairs. We all were doing everything, and yet we were all subdued. It just seemed hard. Now I'm not sure why the energy was low for everyone else, maybe it was thoughts of the obstacle course that was coming after our workout, but for me, I had decided to try eating my dinner before I came instead of a snack. I was worried about having dinner too late since we were staying for the obstacle course after our workout. Lesson one learned. Don't eat that much before a workout with Stephanie. My stomach felt like I had swallowed a rock. I gave it my best, but it was a lot harder than it should have been.
The obstacle course arrived, and I know everyone was dreading it. I felt a little better about it during our workout when Stephanie told us if we crawled, we should be through it in 4 minutes. Once we were shown the course, I think we all felt a little better. It was still difficult to think about doing it in front of everyone, but when my turn came, I did what I could to block that out and concentrate on what I was doing. I'm not going to tell you it was easy, the 5 up downs and the 10 step ups onto 5 risers made my legs burn especially after the squats and stairs I had just done during my team workout, but I did it, and I did it without any modification. It wasn't fast, and I'm sure it wasn't pretty, but I left excited about how much better it will be when I do it again at the end.
Tuesday after work I headed back to Global Fitness and hit the treadmill. I was focused, and I felt good. I pushed hard with both my speed and time and managed to do 54 minutes and 3.65 miles. I even got the speed up to 5 and ran for a minute at a time a few times. (One of my goals is to run a 5k......did I actually say that out loud?) I was ecstatic after that. I have an issue with being able to run. My grade 6 & 7 gym teacher was quite the athlete, and this man had no time for a chubby 12 year old who couldn't run a mile like the other kids. His way of motivating someone was to belittle them. No one explained to me that if I tried a little every class that I would get better. I came to dread those classes. I wasn't stupid, and yet this teacher never took the time to teach. So now at 47, I wonder if I will ever be able to run any distance, but I am determined to find out. I left the gym proud of myself, but I didn't stretch which brings us to Wednesday and lesson two.
I woke up on Wednesday barely able to walk. My thighs were burning, but I figured after a shower it would all work itself out. It didn't, but I headed to work and thought that after a few laps of Walmart I'd be fine. After all, that's what happened last week. Nope. I got to the gym, and my legs still hurt, but I found a treadmill determined to get my work out in. I still managed 50 minutes, but it was a painful and much slower 50 minutes. My speed never went above 4, and for most of the time it stayed at 3.8. My heart rate didn't get up as high as usual, because my legs couldn't handle it. I felt discouraged as I hobbled to the change room, but I had still done 50 minutes which was something. I still didn't stretch.
Thursday was our team workout, and our weigh in day. I weighed in, and I was down again. I was a little discouraged though, because I was down an amount that I have lost with just diet alone. I felt that with all the work I've been doing and being very careful with what I eat, it should have been more. I have to get my head around the fact that any loss is a good thing. Stephanie also measured our body fat, and all I'm going to say about that is, "way too high". We headed down to a raquetball court, and Stephanie introduced us to a bosu ball. Our work out this week involved a lot of stepping on and off this ball, and my legs were screaming. I did everything Stephanie asked, but I didn't feel like I was doing it very well. I had to really dig deep in order to keep going when all I really wanted to do was stop. Thursday was a very hard day. I knew going into this that I have a lot of work to do. Thursday made me realize that maybe I have even more than I thought. By the time we finished, I was a bit of an emotional mess. I should have been happy with the weight loss, and I should have been happy that at least I was able to keep using the bosu ball for the whole work out, but I expected more of myself. Its funny, or maybe sad, that my expectations for myself can be so unrealistic, and yet I consider myself to be very encouraging of others. I went home and curled up on the sofa with a blanket and hot water bottle and quietly watched TV with my husband. My wonderful daughter, who knew nothing of my emotional state, sent me a text telling me she was proud of me and some other wonderful things. Just what I needed at the exact time I needed it. My head started to get back in the game, and even my legs felt a little better. Maybe it had something to do with the stretching that Stephanie made us do at the end of our work out?
Friday was definitely better. My emotions were back in check, and my legs were starting to feel stronger. I did another 45 minutes on the treadmill, and I was able to gain back some of the speed I had before. There still wasn't any running as I wanted to listen to my body more. My legs didn't feel ready for that just yet. On my way out, I signed up for the beginner's yoga class for Saturday. That evening, I had the best medicine for my emotional roller coaster ride, I got to cuddle with my 7 week old grand daughter. Puts things into perspective.
Saturday morning I went to the gym early so I could get in some time on the treadmill before the yoga class. My legs were definitely returning to normal, and I did 30 minutes on the treadmill and was able to get my speed back up over 4. I went to the yoga class at 9, and I thoroughly enjoyed the hour. I have always been fairly flexible, and I have admired the quiet strength that yoga offers. I surprised myself at how well I seemed to be able to do, and at the end, my muscles were all stretched out, and I felt so much better. Lesson two, always, always stretch!
This week definitely had some highs and some lows. Its Sunday, the day I take as my day off and as I write this, I realize that I've still accomplished a lot. I didn't give up. My weight was down. I did get 6 work outs in. I completed the much dreaded obstacle course. My diet has been good, no cheating, and my food log is up to date. When I put my jeans on this morning, they definitely fit differently, in a very good way. I've learned that eating oatmeal before a workout is better than chicken and veggies. I know that stretching is extremely important, and the harder I work out, the more necessary that stretching is especially if I want to be back at it the next day. I've also learned that this is a process and that my head needs to be in the game. I need to be kinder to myself and offer myself the same patience I offer other people. When I look at it that way, its been a successful week.
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